I got up this morning and prayed earnestly for guidance this morning. I want God to speak to me. I want to hear him audibly. I want a lot of things…or at least I think I do.

As I was praying, I really got the sense that God was going to speak to me through his word today. That today I would grasp something I possibly have never seen before. I would know something I have never known. I would hear something I’ve never heard…I got up from prayer and dived right into my morning devotions, which have been in the Gospel Of Mark, and here is what jumped out at me today…

Mark 14 Vs 19

“And they began to be sorrowful, and to say unto him one by one, Is it I? and another said, Is it I?”

I am overwhelmed at this passage. I am tearful at this passage. Why? Because I understand it…I understand that though I can walk with the Master for miles in His ministry, though I am privilege enough to just be apart of anything He is doing…I too, continue to fail him. The fact is…is that I betray him every time I look at something I shouldn’t. I betray him by having doubt in His abilities. I betray him every time I visually witness a miracle and fail to stand in awe of who He is. I betray him by my abundance of sleeping and lack of praying. (I will explain this one in a future post.)

This morning was my wake up call. This scripture…this morning, is a siren, a loud trumpet blowing continually in my ear to rise up and be strong. This morning I feel as if who I am and what I do is about to be defined in what I am. What am I? I am His son…His beloved…His chosen child. I have been imparted His righteousness and His holiness. I have been equipped for ministry with His heart, His mind, and His hands.

And still…

I am just one lie, one look, and one thought from betraying Him.

(Psalm 69 Vs 1, “Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul”)
___________________________________________________________________

This is my only post for the day. I am headed tonight to, as previously stated, to the AG Honor Bound Men’s Retreat. Pray that I can get Pastor Mark to give my wife and I a shout out…or…just pray I don’t “chicken out”. It’s time to ninja up!