Something In Me
11:17 AM
Huge chunks of data are making the rounds in my brain today…just thinking over different ideas, concepts, theology, media, life, love, etc…a little bit of everything.
The road I’ve been traveling these days, the road of possibility, has opened up some new areas in my life that have amazed me as well as saddened me. For instance I am blown away at the “atom” concept, but I am terribly upset about “limits”. Both sink into my spirit and really tear at me. I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster and I don’t know how to stop it long enough to re-focus and re-energize myself. To be quite honest, I am not myself these days. I am really struggling to find myself again. Like I have said before, I struggle with identity issues. I am so busy reading, learning, and trying to do ministry like everyone else that I don’t actually know how “I” do ministry.
With the start of this blog I set out on a journey to find who I am in Christ. Me. Not my ministry heroes…just me. Who am I? Why do I behave, act, love, hate, and feel the way I do? I am trying to understand my “uniqueness”…or maybe my “weirdness”. I am trying to walk with God in a way that will change my walk upon this earth. I am trying to change my thoughts and actions by focusing them on the thoughts and actions of God. I am trying to reach the impossible.
Something in me is ready to roar.