A fatherless generation NEEDS a father figure.

I recently read an article published by Focus on the Family that stated “nearly two-thirds of first marriages will end up in divorce; that means about half of all American children will experience their parents’ divorce. And since more than 75 percent of divorced parents remarry and second marriages are more likely to fail than the first, many teens will go through a second divorce with their stepfamilies.”

I say all that to say there is a desperate need for STABLE PARENTAL FIGURES. Our students need more than a pastor…they need a father…they need a mother. Our students need a figure in their life that is STABLE and GODLY. They need a grown up…they need a leader…they need an ADULT… Let me tell you what they DON’T need is a friend…they’ve got plenty of those.

Take a look at your schools…I would venture to say that there are more students that are familiar with divorce than those that have married parents. It’s our responsibility and calling to not only PREACH the Gospel of Jesus Christ but it is also our responsibility to LIVE the Gospel of Jesus Christ…make no mistake “people watch you before they follow you”.

The questions we have to ask ourselves are; What are the differences in how I PASTOR and how I PARENT? How can I take what I’ve learned as a parent and apply it to leading in ministry?

We all parent differently and I’m not about to give a course on parenting…but I would encourage you to read books on parenting. However, what I will give you are a couple of things that I do with our group of students…and I really believe they can help you grow relationally with your students.

• “I’m proud of you”, versus, “Thank you!”

“Thank you” can sometimes mean that you are grateful that they are helping YOU accomplish the needs of the ministry, whereas “I’m proud of you” signifies a sense of affirmation that THEY have done the right thing on their own, after all we are supposed to be training them on how to be responsible adults.

• “I love you”

I don’t care who you are, these three words speak volumes…especially to students. I personally end every service I preach (adults/students) with this exact saying, “God loves you and I love you to”.

(Leaders/Pastors, if you get anything out of this leadership blog series I hope that this is it.)

Learn to PASTOR...not MANAGE.

How much time do you spend reading God's word? How much time do you spend on building your personal relationship with Jesus?

How you answer that question might reveal alot. If you are reading in the effort to just produce sermons and teaching lessons, you're off to a rough start. Why? Because our first passion, above and beyond ministry, is to KNOW the Lord Jesus! This is where we get off track as leaders...

Ministry can be busy and overwhelming, but your first priority is to know the Lord. I promise you that if you spend more time communicating in prayer and reading God's Word all of the ministry STUFF will happen naturally. A friend of mine, Pastor Steven McKnight, once said, "Nothing else will be in rightful order, until God comes first." That is so absolutely true!

Ministry is difficult on us as leaders. Often, if we're being honest, we sacrifice our relationship with the Lord to build His church. (That doesn't even make sense!) Do you think that is what God wants? What do you value more; the ministry or your relationship with the Savior?

So...Not only does our relationship with the Lord suffer but also the relationship with our people suffers. You must establish time in your daily life to be in God's Word. This isn't just so the church or your ministry can grow...it's detrimental to YOUR growth!

As leaders we are called to preach, give, and serve from an OVERFLOW! That means we have a sermon that we are studying for on Wednesday/Sunday...but we also have a personal devotion going on as well...because if, as a leader, you keep giving the food on your plate to someone else YOU'LL STARVE. Makes sense, right?

Last thing...I would advise you to keep a journal. When you read the Bible, most often, you are reading about other people's lives first hand. My favorite verse that talks about this is found in Nehemiah...

Nehemiah 1:1 (NLT)

"These are the memoirs of Nehemiah son of Hacaliah..."

How would you know Nehemiah's story if he didn't write it? How much do you think Nehemiah's testimony helped the next generation? Now think about how much your WRITING might effect the next generation!

Prayer is the difference between "God's" leader and a "godly" leader.

Notice those are two very different things. Many people talk a great deal about prayer but actually do very little of it. Most people are absolutely willing and eager to do the work of the ministry...but few will pray.

Why is that?

EM Bounds said, "We step into our closets and we can hide nothing from God. We can take no credit for our success and can have no pride." Or maybe one of my more favorite qoutes from Leonard Ravenhill, "No man is greater than his prayer life. The pastor who isn't praying is playing. The secret to praying is praying in secret. The sinning man will stop praying and the praying man will stop sinning."

Think about it for a second...

How can you lead people in God's direction if you haven't spoken to Him to know what direction you should be going? This is where the tough get going! If you can't lead in prayer, you won't be able to lead people in life.

Pastors hear this challenge from Pastor Gerald Brooks, "If your stage time exceeds your prayer time, your failing in your ministry." OUCH!

Pretty simple and straight forward...If your spending more time on YOU than GOD, how spiritual do you think you're going to be? I know praying isn't easy...most of the time it's a battle! I've spent a great deal of time in prayer just battling the fless. You know what I'm talking about...the "laundry list". We're busy as leaders...we feel that if we aren't busy, we aren't making a difference. However, what could be more important than our time with the Father? We've got to LEARN to LEAN on the Lord and that is a learned attribute...

Let me share with you some insight on leaning;

A few years ago I used to spend time quite a bit a time with an elder of the church I was attending. This man was a man of prayer and wisdom. One of my favorite stories he would tell is how he was in a bind with a certain situation. This situation required a great deal of prayer. After praying for hours and hours...He looks up at me and says, "Do you know what the Lord said concerning the issue? Absolutely NOTHING!"

How many of you relate to that story?

Everyone should be able to relate...we've all prayed, searching for an answer, to hear nothing. However, this elder later explained what he learned. He said, "Sometimes prayer is not about getting an answer. Sometimes prayer is about just learning to lean on God for support!"

Listen...As leaders, wheter God speaks or doesn't speak to us, we still must daily go before the Lord in prayer. Prayer is SO important! If you aren't praying as a leader, you won't survive the ministry.

Leadership is not the art of PERFECTION...it's the art of GROWING.

2 Peter 3:18 (NLT)
"Rather, you must grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. All glory to him, both now and forever! Amen."

God has enlisted us to grow continually...to never cease progressing. That is our calling as leaders. It's important, as leaders, to maintain some healthy disciplines in our lives that will lead us toward growth. Why? Because ministries only grow to the level of their leadership! When you are tapped out...so is your ministry...and so are those that are following you. So it's important that we grow and stretch ourselves and our leadership in the effort to grow our people and the ministries that God has given us to steward.

So how do we grow ourselves? It's rather easy...and yet it's hard. Why? Because we are forced to create some fundamental disciplines in our lives. We need HEALTHY HABITS! Healthy habits help to create healthy HEARTS...and ultimately healthy PEOPLE.

This past Saturday I headed north to the "INSPIRE" All Church Ministries Conference with the opportunity to teach on Leadership/Team Building. While it was an awesome opportunity to teach and I'll post my lesson tomorrow, I thought I would give you some of the morning sessions that I got to hear...that being said...here we GO!

Here are a few notes from the first class I attended...

"The Secret Place" (Pastor Rick Dubose)

• Matthew 6
• "You may not see Him...but He see's you!"
• "Your private time with God will bless you publically."
• "The closet is a place of INTIMACY."
• "You can't expect to bring out a child without intimacy...there are some things that can only be BIRTHED through intimacy with God."
• "Hannah was ashamed of her barreness because it appeared that there was a lack of intimacy."
• Psalm 139 (Born/Forged in the secret place)
• "To understand who you are...you have to go back to where you're from."
• "The secret place is the place of purpose and provision."
• "God unveils, in the secret place, things as we can deal with them."
• "Without prayer you cannot become who you are created to be."
• "You are a key SLOTTED to fit the lock...but you haven't cut to open all the locks yet."
• "What goes right often becomes PRIDE...what goes wrong often becomes FEAR."
• "If you'll learn to fall apart in front of God...He'll keep you from falling apart in public."
• "The secret place provides privacy...even from the Devil."
• "The safest place to be is in the middle of God's will."

(Pastor Rick is a great teacher and I've got to admit...I could sit and listen all day long to just about anything he is speaking about...)

"Nehemiah, A Time to Build" (Dr. Beth Grant)

• "What is God calling us to BUILD in 2011?"
• "We are in a time similuar to Nehemiah; We must build with one hand and have the sword in the other."
• "If you haven't guessed it yet...this is a FIGHT message!"
• "We must intentionally choose to be a people who build..versus being passive or worse...tearing down."
• "We cannot build alone! Don't be tempted to go it alone. We must build and fight together!"
• "Building ministry is not a search for SIGNIFICANCE...it's a call to SERVE!"
• "Nehemiah organized families; Why can't we organize the family unit once again to build and fight together?"
• "When we don't step out of our four walls with the Gospel, our children are raised to believe that the Holy Spirit is a luxury rather than an empowerment!"
• "We are to be so deep in the river (Holy Spirit) that you don't care about the banks (where it starts)!"
• "Let's not waste our time doing the same things we've always done!"

Those were a couple of the morning sessions...the afternoon sessions I went and listend to Tim Puckett talk about Speed the Light and Luis Salazar on the topic of bus ministries...Both did AWESOME and I definately walked away with some great ideas to take back home! Thanks Tim and Luis for your faithfulness to the cause of Christ!

Tomorrow I will post my teaching on leadership/team building...

A season has changed. It's another year...that being said "I'm back!"

I've got a lot of updating to do over the next few months...it's been a crazy few years of ministry...but I'm still here...and that isn't a testimony to my strength or commitment...it is a testimony to the grace and mercy of God!

That being said...let's start off this first post with a bit of a rant...

Matthew 6:6

"But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret will reward you."

Facebook is YOUR face on YOUR book, (not much different than "MYspace"). Our culture is one that promotes SELF. There is big money in it. Here is the thing tho...

We've got to be careful to not take a GOOD thing and make it a GOD thing (to qoute Mark Driscoll). While social media can be used by God, it isn't God. We are warned in Matthew 6 that there are some relationships that are meant to be private. Jesus actually uses those who publically pray, just so they could be seen doing it, as an example of how not to be. We've got to be careful in our heart that we're not living out loud on Facebook...just for affirmation. I am so leary of those that need to show us how "Christian" they are. I don't think that is the case with everyone...but it's quickly becoming our culture that PERCEPTION is more important than reality.

Last thing...Your legacy is not going to be based off who you were on Facebook. Your legacy will be directly related to how well you invested into people...which, by the way...is the greatest investment you can make in life.

First post down...many to come...I am ninja...