“God Will Use Me, Despite Me”
(Core Beliefs Series)

Last time I spoke, I laid out a list of core beliefs that define who I am. The first one being, “God is the God of imagination.” Tonight we move on to the next one, “God will use me, despite me.” This one is a heart crusher for me. You see, what I have to talk about tonight is difficult. Actually it’s downright offensive. I don’t know any other way around it and for your soul’s sake I dare not. So let me just get right to it.

Allow me to give you some history into where this has become a strong core conviction in my life. In 1991, I graduated high school in a small town in East Texas. I was not a model teenager. Quite the contrary, I was disobedient, a liar, and many more things for which I am ashamed to say that I was. After high school I joined the Marines. Here is a free piece of advice…If you struggle with authority; the Marine Corps is probably not going to be a smart move. Going into the service, I really thought this was going to bring the happiness I was searching for. I thought this was going to bring me purpose and destiny. I thought I will get to be the hero. You know, just like you see in the movies. But at the end of my term what I became was a borderline alcoholic…I was miserable. All I wanted was to be happy. Do you know what I’m talking about? Do you know that misery that accompanies failure? I was a wretched creature. I was a foul mouthed sailor, literally. I was arrogant. I was foolish. Can anyone relate with those thoughts tonight?

Ok, let’s just turn to the scriptures…

Judges 13:2-5

“A certain man of Zorah, named Manoah, from the clan of the Danites, had a wife who was sterile and remained childless. The angel of the LORD appeared to her and said, "You are sterile and childless, but you are going to conceive and have a son. Now see to it that you drink no wine or other fermented drink and that you do not eat anything unclean, because you will conceive and give birth to a son. No razor may be used on his head, because the boy is to be a Nazirite, set apart to God from birth, and he will begin the deliverance of Israel from the hands of the Philistines.”

Let’s break this down real quick…

An angel comes to this certain couple and prophecies over them a child. Now this isn’t just any child. This child is going to bring about the deliverance of Israel out of the hands of its greatest enemy. Here is the thing. You can’t get excited just yet because there is some more information. The child must be of a Nazirite covenant. So what is a Nazirite covenant?

From this scripture we can easily see a few requirements laid out…

·         Can’t drink anything fermented…that means anything with alcohol.

·         You can’t eat anything unclean…

·         No razor can ever touch your hair…

More information can actually be found in Numbers…You don’t have to turn there; I’ll read it for you…

Numbers 6:1-8

“The LORD said to Moses, "Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'If a man or woman wants to make a special vow, a vow of separation to the LORD as a Nazirite, he must abstain from wine and other fermented drink and must not drink vinegar made from wine or from other fermented drink. He must not drink grape juice or eat grapes or raisins. As long as he is a Nazirite, he must not eat anything that comes from the grapevine, not even the seeds or skins.

 "'During the entire period of his vow of separation no razor may be used on his head. He must be holy until the period of his separation to the LORD is over; he must let the hair of his head grow long. Throughout the period of his separation to the LORD he must not go near a dead body. Even if his own father or mother or brother or sister dies, he must not make himself ceremonially unclean on account of them, because the symbol of his separation to God is on his head. Throughout the period of his separation he is consecrated to the LORD.

Wow right…tons of information…so let’s update what we already know…

·         Can’t drink or eat anything that is basically associated with a grape.

·         No razor can ever touch his head…

·         Not only can you not eat anything unclean…but you can’t touch anything dead because it is unclean…

So this child is going to be birthed. If we dedicate this child under this Nazirite covenant, than he is going to deliver the people from their worst enemy…are you following me?

Now I don’t know how much study you have done on Sampson and his life…but there are a few things you might want to know. Sampson is still heralded as one of the hero’s of the Old Testament. He defeated countless amounts of men in battle and did some pretty impossible things. But one thing he didn’t do…was stay committed to his Nazirite vow. You see Sampson had somewhat of a dark side.

In Judges Chapter 14 we see the beginning of Sampson’s life story. We also start to see a pattern developing in Sampson that is disturbing. For the sake of time, let me just give you the bullet points…

·         Chapter 14 Vs 8-9 – Sampson had killed a lion and as he was returning home one day he notices that a group of bees had swarmed up inside the carcass of the lion. Sampson eats the honey.

·         Chapter 15 Vs 15 – Sampson takes the jawbone of a donkey and slaughters the enemy…

·         Chapter 16 Vs 1-2 – Sampson is now sleeping with prostitutes…

·         Chapter 16 Vs 6-15 – Sampson has now become so arrogant about his anointing that he is playing around with a prostitute, named Delilah…

Now let’s put this story back together….

A man and a woman found favor in the eyes of God. They get a heavenly visit one day by an angel. The angel tells them about this wonderful boy that they are going to have that will punish their enemies. This boy is going to be powerful in the Lord. They are instructed to raise it under the Nazirite vow. And they do. They raise him right. They do all the right things. They say all the right things. And what comes from it is not what they expected. It’s not what anyone expects.

Sampson violates just about everything rule to the covenant. And yet he is still full of God’s anointing. He corrupts himself by eating honey out from inside a dead animal. He touches an unclean donkey’s jawbone to kill his enemies. As Sampson see’s that God is still with him despite his covenant failure, he becomes arrogant and self-confident. He becomes stricken with lust and chases after women of low morals. His head is so swollen in pride that he starts to think he is invincible. And you know what…if finally catches up to him…

Judges 16 Vs 21

“Then the Philistines seized him, gouged out his eyes and took him down to Gaza. Binding him with bronze shackles, they set him to grinding in the prison.”

It isn’t funny anymore, is it? You’ve got this gift…this anointing…and your just abusing it because you think it’s all about you? How are you so arrogant, Sampson? Can’t you see the bad decisions your making? But that’s how it is, isn’t it? We are always so blinded to our own arrogance and pride. But others see it…It isn’t pretty either. And here is the thing…you will cry out to God why? Why Lord didn’t you show me that I was starting to make a mess of things? And you know what? God is trying to speak to you right now. He is trying to help you. He is trying to detour you from being you…you know what I’m saying?

Let me explain it this way….

Judges 14 Vs 5

“Samson went down to Timnah together with his father and mother. As they approached the vineyards of Timnah, suddenly a young lion came roaring toward him.”

What was Sampson even doing near a vineyard? The Nazirite covenant is pretty explicit about not having anything to do with grapes. Yet…we find him in a vineyard at this very moment. You think its coincidence that a lion came running towards him there? I don’t know about you, but I believe I’m spiritual enough to see that as a sign of “do not enter”. Seems pretty plain to me…

Sampson doesn’t see it that way…and thus it starts a downward spiral of pride, arrogance, and self-centeredness. It continues so far down that it cost him his vision. He can’t see anything…anymore. He can’t blame anyone but himself…and just when you think Sampson can never fulfill what he was born to do…

Judges 16 Vs 25-30

“While they were in high spirits, they shouted, "Bring out Samson to entertain us." So they called Samson out of the prison, and he performed for them.”

“When they stood him among the pillars, Samson said to the servant who held his hand, "Put me where I can feel the pillars that support the temple, so that I may lean against them." Now the temple was crowded with men and women; all the rulers of the Philistines were there, and on the roof were about three thousand men and women watching Samson perform. Then Samson prayed to the LORD, "O Sovereign LORD, remember me. O God, please strengthen me just once more, and let me with one blow get revenge on the Philistines for my two eyes." Then Samson reached toward the two central pillars on which the temple stood. Bracing himself against them, his right hand on the one and his left hand on the other, Samson said, "Let me die with the Philistines!" Then he pushed with all his might, and down came the temple on the rulers and all the people in it. Thus he killed many more when he died than while he lived.”

Just when you think that Sampson will never fulfill what God had birthed him to do…He does it. Sampson is a horrible example of how to live. He was a bad example as a man. He failed many times over in his covenant with God. He was arrogant in his gifting. He had a huge lust problem and had bad taste in women.

·         He was a failure….and yet God used him.

·         He was a liar…and yet God used him.

·         He was arrogant…and yet God used him.

·         He was prideful…and yet God used him.

·         He was a sinner…and yet God used him.

Do you see what I’m getting at here? Listen…Sampson isn’t the only one in the Bible with that life story…

·         Moses was a murderer…and yet God used him.

·         Rahab was a prostitute…and yet God used her.

·         Ruth was the child of incest (she is the byproduct of Lot and his daughter drunkenness)…and yet God used her.

·         David was a murdering adulterer…and yet God used him.

·         Paul was a mass murderer…and yet God used him.

The Bible is full of people just like Sampson…and the church today is full, I mean full, of people just like Sampson.

So let me be just as transparent as I can be about all of this and why I so desperately ascribe to this as a core belief of mine. I believe all of this because it is extremely evident in the Bible that God uses fools like me to share the greatest story ever told.

·         God uses me! Even though I fail him miserably at times…

·         God uses me! Even when I rely too much on my gifts and not enough on His grace.

·         God uses me…Despite me!

Have you experienced that before? Have you had that wake-up call from God to your own depravity? Do you really understand how much you need God because of your inabilities? Can you fathom that tonight? Don’t you feel that struggle within your very bones? I like how Paul said it…

Romans 7 Vs 17-20

“But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.”

Even the great apostle Paul struggled in areas. He doesn’t allude to what these struggles are…but it doesn’t matter because he calls it like it is…SIN. It’s sin! We all struggle with some form of sin in our lives. We all do. Sin takes on so many shades, that it’s become so difficult to see it…but it’s there. And that’s why I love the first 5 words uttered by Paul in the Message translation…BUT I NEED SOMETHING MORE! Amen?

And here is where God steps in with His gigantic love…

Romans 5 Vs 8

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us”

God demonstrates His love for us, “while we were still sinners”… Christ poured himself out for us even though we mess up. He gave His life freely even though we still struggle and wrestle with sin issues in our lives. You can look at my resume and you can look at my finances and you can judge me and make a smart decision of who I am and what I am…and you will find flaws. And yet…STILL…God uses me. Despite my shortcomings…despite my failures…despite my arrogance…despite my pride, God still uses me…

God is working on me every day. He is transforming my life. He is conforming my mind to the mind of Christ. He is redeeming me from unrighteousness. He loves me when my sins are so heavy before me that I can’t love myself. And the only thought I can even muster to think is…is that…

God will use me, despite me…