Psalm 34:18
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”

This week…this scripture is my anthem. It is my shield. It is my salvation.

Can I be transparent? I struggle with identity issues. Not necessarily with who I am in Christ…but what is my purpose. I have read the books…heard the sermons…and have a good understanding of what my general purpose is, according to the Bible. But…I am looking for something a bit more specific these days. I am looking to understand what I am supposed to be doing in the not too distant future. I know what my heart wants…problem is…when I talk about it, others are quick to tell me that they could not see me doing what I dream of.

I know better than to listen to others…but it’s kind of hard when you extremely respect their opinions and hold them to be great advisors. So my mind races back to uncertainty…and that just leads me to solitude. Which may be just the thing I need for a while. More prayer…less talk…more prayer…less advice…more prayer, more prayer, more prayer.

One thing is for sure…I feel at times as if I take in huge amounts of information from my Bible studies, books, blogs, etc. Is all this education for nothing? Should I just be more focused on living and enjoying life? Should I just give up on dreams that I might not be talented enough, loving enough, sensitive enough for? It makes for a bitter struggle between ministry and happiness…